Monday, July 22, 2013

The Spectrum of My Aspie Mind

I am a thinker by nature, always processing and thinking about how I do and why I do the things that I do. So I thought to myself, how funny it is that I relish in the complexities of the ways of mankind and the richness of enlightenment, but flounder in the simplest of tasks like sweeping the floor. I can bring a picture to life with colors that create movement and texture, but I can’t pick out a color scheme for a room. I can sew a beautify garment, but I can’t put an outfit together...nor do I want to.  There are those who can easily decipher quantum entanglement, yet on the contrary may not be able to figure out how to tie a shoe. The spectrum mind is a most interesting place…

How do I explain that I’d prefer to wear the same outfit everyday or that I have to break down chores like sweeping the floors into sections or particular directions so that I can complete the task without getting overwhelmed? I love to cook, but I hate to plan meals…it’s just too taxing. I will admit that it is easier now that my son participates, especially on those lovely days when I can get him to pick out the meat, starch and vegetable, leaving me to simply put it all together. It’s almost like working with half a brain sometimes. So why are the simpler things so much more difficult? How is it that I am a self-taught reader, reading chapter books before kindergarten, but struggle to express myself in writing?  I don’t know these things… I’m still trying to figure it out.

For me, a thing can be much more than just a thing…it’s can be experience on a multi-dimensional level. Like the feel of water. To most people when they feel water it just feels wet, warm, hot or cold. To me water feels more tactile. I can feel the slightly sticky, roughness of hard water as opposed to the softness of spring or distilled water. There is a distinct difference between the taste and feel of boiled water and microwaved water which has a dry tacky feel and the dryness is liken to lychee fruit which is a dry, slightly sweet popular grape like Asian fruit. Boiled water has a much smoother texture and glides across the pallet…clearly more pleasant than the ladder.

I am very sensitive to movement, patterns and lines, heat, light, sound and certain kinds of smells. I’m extremely sensitive to words and word usage in verbal communication more than written. The mind is the most interesting space that a person has and having an aspie/autist mind makes it even more interesting. I love the beauty of my mind and would not change a thing other than to have a greater understanding of it’s ability.  

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