Friday, May 27, 2016

Love When You Talk to Me

You don't really know how amazing it can be to have a verbal conversation with your kid until you have that first one and then you pray that it happens again.
I can't remember the last time my son uttered a sentence, wait, yes I can. He was 7 years old and he didn't want to eat his peas. I listened as he sat at the table complaining about the peas on his plate. I chose to pretend to ignore him. He got so made. He couldn't see me grinning. It was one of those precious rare moments when my son uttered something...anything. His voice barely audible and his words unintelligible, but I found his conversation about the peas to be completely and utterly delightful. It's the little things.

It's no secret that I talk to my son all the time. My friends do too. We ask questions and always pause to give H time to answer. He typically doesn't, but ever so often he does. Tonight I was blessed to have a conversation with him. It by no means was a typical conversation, but very much a conversation nonetheless. He's 16 now and still only utters a word or two every so often. Facial expressions and gestures are his primary mode of communication. Tonight while giving H his last round of medicines. I struck up a conversation about a behavior that he developed around the time he started having gut issues and seizures. It started off as excessive drooling and developed into excessive spitting. Funny, spitting (toothpaste) was one of the long standing goals on is ISP that I though he'd never ever achieve and now I can't get him to stop at all. I even catch him practicing his technique in bathroom sometimes.

I hope this subject is not gross you out, but this is how our story goes.

Here's the conversation:

H: Indicates that he wants to go spit.

Mom: Try to swallow if you can. Here's your medicine, that will help. I believe you will learn how to swallow your spit again. You used to before your seizures.

H: Do not...

Mom: You do not want to or you do not know how?

H: Silence

Mom: Repeats the question.

H: Silence

Mom: Repeats the question again.

H: How

Mom: That's okay, if you want to try we will figure it out. Okay?

H: Okay (smile)

My eyes are tearing even now. This is only the second verbal conversation we've had. What can I say, my heart is skipping around my chest. I feel like our connection is becoming so much stronger. There was a understanding that was indescribable. I'm thankful for this moment.