Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Christian Grey Has Autism?!

I didn’t think I would post again tonight, but I’ve been given no choice. There are some things that just need to be stated and here it is.

This is my response to an article that I read tonight, Christian Grey has autism written by Allison Zeiring Walmark. I have also included the link to this article so that those who read this post may have access to what I consider an article written in very poor taste by a self-proclaimed “arm chair expert.”

My response

I'm so glad that I took the time to read this article before deciding to share it on twitter. I don't quite know what to say, but I will do my best to say it gently. I am 47 years old and diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder. Living on the spectrum for 47 years does not qualify me as an expert. There are some defining issues that allow professions to issue a diagnosis, but even then the lines between Asperger's and some other diagnosis are very thin at best. I do not understand how you feel that you are qualified to make such a statement as this, "Secondly, I know autism when I see it. Autism and my family have had a complicated, often contentious “frenemy-like” relationship for four plus years. Ethan, my 6-year-old son, was diagnosed at age 2." Please explain to me how you know so much about Autism with the limited amount of exposure you speak so highly of. Your child does not define what living on the spectrum is. Your child is your child who happens to be on the spectrum. It appears that you know something of your child, but very little else. Also, how dare you say Autistics have no empathy. I myself and many of my Aspie friends are highly empathetic, almost to a flaw. We are often overwhelmed by emotions. So with regards to your knowledge of Autism, I strongly suggest that you put down your pen for a while and continue working on building your knowledge base. And please...please remember to write more responsibly. Thank you.

As I stated earlier, here is the link for the article Christian Grey has autism. Please take a moment to read this article and you will understand why I and a few others replied the way we did.

http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/964339/a-spectrum-of-grey (if clicking on the link does not work, try cutting and pasting it in the web address line at the top of this page).
Christian Grey has autism

Christian Grey — yes, that Christian Grey — has autism. How do I know? Well, for starters, I’ve read the Fifty Shades trilogy at least five times, so in addition to making me one of the more pathetic people in this world, it also makes me an armchair expert on the comings and goings (pun intended) of Christian Grey. - written by Allison Zeiring Walmark

Looping and What It Means To Me

I’ve only become familiar with the term ‘looping’ in recent months. I’ve read about it often in posts on one of my favorite Aspie group sites.  There was somewhat of a generalized opinion of what I thought looping meant. But, for some reason, I only related the term to music looping over and over again in my head. I could not fully equate this term ‘looping’ into my personal experiences with conversations and thoughts. I love it when I get ah-ha moments, but I wonder…what took me so long? Good thing is…once I’m able to clearly identify a problem; I can usually find a reasonable coping method to counter it.

In my excitement I almost posted this new revelation in my favorite aspie group, but then decided it was best for me to post it in my blog. After all, I am trying to express myself more through blogging. If I always give in to posting in group, I will never ever completely purge my thoughts in my blogs.
I wonder if my son experiences anything like this. I know he loves to hear sounds looping during stemming, but I have no way of knowing if he loops with bits and pieces of conversations heard or if he has any negative thoughts that bother him that way. My son is diagnosed with Autism and my diagnosis is Asperger’s Disorder. We do have some similarities like enjoying our stemming time after dinner. We also seem to have a unique understanding of each other. There are also many differences between us as well. For instance, I am very high functioning and verbal where my son is considered more middle of the road and non-verbal. Oddly enough, we manage to communicate our thoughts quite well.

Okay, getting back to my original conversation…a few days ago I found myself stuck in looping mode. The conversation was one that I had with a tenant. It was not particularly negative in a hurtful way, but the conversation was somewhat disturbing and a little insulting. So now it loops. I wonder how long this will go on. I try to combat the looping as it plays in my head with various responses. Over time my emotions begin to diffuse. I have to determine how important I'm going to allow this conversation to be. Usually It becomes less important as time goes on or as I come to terms with the root of the conversation. There are conversations that are fashioned purely out of ignorance. Sometimes it's easier to dismiss uncomfortable language when one realizes the root of the language and overall tone of the conversation.

Looping of thoughts can cause great anxiety and emotional discomfort. When I think about the whole experience, I understand why this sort of thing can cause a person to loop themselves right into a major meltdown. It’s like pressing the A-B button on a dvd remote, which causes a section of the dvd to loop over and over and over again. And it will continue to loop until you press the A-B button again to make it stop. Next time you sit down to watch a dvd, look at your remote to see if it has an A-B button. I think most dvd remotes have one now. If so, try it out.

On occassion, I experience disturbing images and dreams from childhood trauma. These occurrences can become a little more intense with hormone shifts such as during pregnancy. I will have to do more research on this. 

The way my mind works, I have a visual scenario to part of my problem. Conversational looping is much like the A-B switch kind of looping. How do I stop the looping in that scenario? Press the button to make it stop. The visualized solution equates into real life. How do I stop the looping in my head? I change my perception and reaction to the conversation. This will make the looping of that particular conversation stop in a shorter period of time.
We listen and share with hopes of understanding and acceptance. It is through these means that we also find solutions and peace. I greatly appreciate your input and any solutions you may have on ways to managing this problem. Thank you.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Food for the Soul - Part 2, Counting Our Blessings

I woke up this morning thinking about how thankful I was to see another day. One tends to be more thankful for each day as one grows older or when experiencing illness. After giving thanks for the day I sat up on the side of my bed and wiggled my toes. Listened to the birds sing for a bit and began moving about the room. I thought to myself…how many blessing have I already received today. How abundantly God gives to us and asks little in return. So I sat down for a moment and began counting my blessings -

1.       The Lord has given me another day today

2.       I am able to thank the Lord for today

3.       I had a good night’s sleep

4.       I am alive today

5.       I opened my eyes today

6.       I took in a breath with no problems today

7.       I feel no pain today

8.       I am able to move my arms and legs today

9.       I have no problems sitting up today

10.   I can hear the birds sing today

11.   I can stand up and my knees don’t pop today

13.   My son is laughing in the other room today

14.   I am a Mom today

15.   My little dog Ginger is happy and eager to go outside today

16.   Our home is safe today

17.   My home is clean and comfortable today

18.   We have plenty to eat today

19.   I can walk today

20.   I have hope today

21.   I can pray freely and without persecution today

22.   I am thankful for so many things today

23.   I have a clear mind today

24.   I have clean drinking water today

25.   I feel joy today

27.   I am at peace today

28.   I got a hug from son today

29.   I am free today

30.   I can love today

31.   I feel loved today…

And those are the blessings that I counted within the first few minutes of the day. Imagine what it would be like to continue counting blessings throughout the entire day.

How could you get mad at that worrisome co-worker if you are counting blessing?

How can you argue with your husband if you are counting your blessings?

How can you yell at your children if you are counting your blessings?

How can you feel tired and drained if you are counting your blessings?

How can you experience road rage if you are counting your blessings?

How can you keep the extra change that the lady behind the checkout gave you by accident if you are counting your blessings?

Don’t you see? If you spend your time counting your blessing and giving thanks for that which you have been blessed with, you wouldn’t have time for anything negative. You would not complain nearly as much. You would not be anxious. You would not be depressed. You would not be in a constant rush. You would not be easily angered. You could not hold a grudge from yesterday. However, you would be more at peace, focusing on the good things in your life. Good things both great and small.

Wonder what it would be like to count blessings while thinking about how to utilize the fruits of the spirit, becoming a blessing to someone else. Wouldn’t that be an awesome thing to strive for everyday? How many countless ways can we use the fruits that God has given us? What are the fruits you ask?

Fruits of the spirit










But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

(for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth),

When you wake up tomorrow morning, start your day by give thanks for the day and then begin counting your blessings. As you move about the day seeking all help and guidance from the Lord, ask Him to help you utilize your spiritual fruits that you may be a blessing to others.

I hope you have enjoyed this food for thought as we continue to feed our spirits with the words and ways of God.

Feel free to share ways that you use your spiritual fruits to bless others.

Be encouraged and keep your eyes on the prize.

Food for the Soul – Part 1, Love

Have you ever taken the time to give thought to what your perception of love really is?

What does the word “love” mean to you logically and/or spiritually?

Where do you think love comes from? Or even the concept of love?

Do you give your love to others freely or does your love come with conditions?

Is love everlasting in your life or is it only a temporary measure?

I am a Christian. My understanding of love is that it comes from God and that God pours his love out onto us through his only begotten son Jesus Christ. This is a truth based on the teachings of my faith. If this is in fact a truth in Christian communities, then why do so many Christians find it difficult to show love…the purest form of love? What causes us to fall into the rut of giving and receiving love that often leads to feelings of being short changed? That is not a pure form of Love. That is not the love that God has given and continues to give to us so freely. That form of love is what many people have determined to be “a chemical reaction in the brain”, much like eating chocolate, taking some sort of euphoric drug or hormonal changes…who knows. What a depressing way to think of this precious gift. Isn’t love greater than that? How is it that God has given us the commandment to love, but we have not taken the time to fully understand what he means? If we don’t understand God’s commandment to love, then how will we know if we are giving His pure love to others?
            This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

I John 4:8 (NKJV)

He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
John 15:9 (NKJV)

“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.

I tend to think in pictures most of the time and when I think of humanity, I picture the masses in a very congested, grey, miserable kind of pit-like place. For miles and miles all you can see are groupings of people muttering around complaining about this thing and the other. They recklessly meander around in their own miserable state not necessarily hurting one another, but ready to devour any unsuspecting new comer, much like a school of Parana. It seems as if humanity viciously rejects change, holding steadfast to that which they know and are most comfortable with. Humanity at large cannot fathom true happiness or any measure of peace. They say they want these things, but are powerless to obtain them; clueless as to how to retrieve these gifts from our source…God.

Now here we are with the love of God, a love that can conquer all things. This love is not forced upon us, but given to us as a gift. God’s love is readily available for the taking and endless in supply. We think we are showing love, but instead we are utilizing a fleshly cerebrally stimulating occurrence that makes us feel ‘love-like’ for short periods of time. These short periods of time can last as little as a few seconds to as much as a few years, but its affects are only temporary at best.
Job 8:12 (NKJV)

While it is yet green and not cut down, It withers before any other plant.

God’s love is everlasting. It grows over time and fills us to the point of overflowing. God’s love does not hurt, lie, cheat or steal. God’s love is like the fruit that ripens and is given to us to eat. Food nourishes our bodies and God’s love nourishes our spirits.
Jeremiah 31:3 (NKJV)

The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.
 Galatians 5:22 (KJV)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

In order for us to fully receive the gift of God’s love, we need to be cleansed of all the gunk absorbed from the constant rubbing of elbows with sinful and negative energy so we may openly receive God’s love and share His true everlasting love with others. Some people are so blinded by sin that they don’t want to be delivered from misery. We are creatures of habit and so even in misery we find comfort because it is familiar to us. Don’t be afraid to stand apart from the murky mire of humanity. Relinquish yourselves to Christ Jesus who died upon the cross and saved us all from sin.  Ask that He come into you and cleans you and free you from that which binds you. Understand that you are God’s precious seed. Do not be like the reed or vine that sprang up in a dry desolate desert only to wither and die. Allow the Lord to plant you firmly in fertile ground that all of the goodness He has put into you be fruitful and multiply. It is by the blessing of God’s love, grace and mercy that you will be able to receive and give of His pure love. His love is the only love that will last forever.

Matthew 22:37-40 (KJV)

37Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38This is the first and great commandment. 39And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
Ezekiel 17:5 (NKJV)

Then he took some of the seed of the land And planted it in a fertile field; He placed it by abundant waters And set it like a willow tree.