I am returning from a much-needed break from blogging. It
was a hard decision that I’m glad I made. I needed to give full attention to
life. It’s a good thing I did. I was fast approaching a crash and burn that I didn’t
see coming.
Since receiving a diagnosis of Asperger’s Disorder in 2012,
the journey of seeing myself through a new lens took flight. It has been and still
is a challenge and a blessing. Beforehand, the only vision I had of myself was
from the vantage point of my family. Except for the few who were interested in
me and accepting my quirkiness, the general consensus has been less than
favorable.
Several years ago, I decided I wanted to do more with my life. I
wanted to help others like me. Advocacy was becoming an interest. Asking a
simple question propelled me into many avenues. Some I grew to love and others
I’m still trying to navigate. It’s easy to get lost in the current. The playing
field registers as extreme to me. It’s vast, diverse, focal, global, communal,
individual, spiritual, adaptational, confrontational, judicial. It’s depth upon
the depth. A decision has to be made. Do I wade in the shallows or
delve into the deep, and if not careful, someone will choose for me.
I wish I talked to someone before I lept. At almost every
turn, my skill set was challenged, and it shook me to my core. Meanwhile, my
son’s health was becoming more challenging. What started as an unexplainable,
but treatable condition turned into a seizure disorder accompanied by a host of
dietary sensitivities, multiple changes in foods, food prep, medications every
few hours, and sleepless nights. I was at my wit's end, and the pressure
continued to mount. That which does not kill us…
So here I am, almost 2 years later, ready to begin again.
It is November 2019. I started this blog in November
2011. From day one, I’ve struggled to find a direction, often making it up as I
go. I envision myself standing at the edge of the world, staring at many paths,
having no idea where they could possibly lead. Which one do I take? Like so
many other times, I don’t know, but this time, I dare to find out.
